Monday, November 27, 2006

A fond farewell...

I want to thank all of the wonderful fans of THE ADVENTURES OF VANESSA VIRTUE who have continued to visit the blog, e-mail me and wonder when Vanessa will return. I appreciate your dedication and support of my little Vanessa.

It's with great sadness that I must bid a fond farewell to our little heroine for now. Work and writing takes up too much of the day for me to do proper credit to the Vanessa Virtue blog site. She's certainly had a great ride and I hope you'll enjoy reading the archives.

I am blogging in another location every Saturday at Books, Boys and Buzz...a group blog of fellow Young Adult authors. There, we talk about our books, the writing industry, movies, food, books we've read...and of course, boys. I certainly hope to see you there.

As Vanessa would say...

Hang loose,
Marley = )

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I knew it all along...and another gripe...

Vanessa here...

Remember me? The world's greatest blog-slacker? I know. I suck. Get over it. I'll have to. The summer's been busy and life has been wearing me down, but I still have plenty to bitch and carp about.

Let's start with this: "Pretty in Pink" (one of my all-time faves!) has been released on DVD. And I knew, knew, knew it all along! The original ending was Andie ending up with Duckie. Hello! How could that not have been the true ending? She didn't belong with Blane in his world. The whole ending was a sham 'cause it went against everything she'd been building for over the course of the movie. And I was right! Original ending was she was with Duckie. Don't believe me, check out this Washington Post article.

Sure, Blane was cute, but Duckie was her soul mate!

It's funny, I always thought Andrew McCarthy's hair looked like shit in the last scene. Now I know it's because they called them back for a new shoot and he was wearing a wig (he'd shaved his head for a play he was doing.)

Ah's in the past...but they could have at least put the alternate ending on the DVD.

So, my other gripe today is Fantasy Football Leagues. (There's no link 'cause if you Google it, it comes back with 44,900,000 possible hits. Yoink!)

Let me clarify this with the following: I freaking love football! You would have a hard time finding a female who knows as much about football as I do. (Watched it all the time with my dad growing up.) So, my problem isn't with football. It's with all these guys who live, eat and breathe their fantasy football picks.

Case in point, the sales people here at work. Every morning around the coffee maker, they gather to bust each others' chops about their "draft" choices, talking of discipline and workouts and two-a-days and speaking like they are the actual coach. Talk of T.O. and the Tuna. Nick and the Phins. Belacheck and 'da Pats. Is Favre done? Will Carson Palmer perform this year? What about Reggie Bush? Who got Vince Young? And "dude, I can't fucking believe you drafted DeShaun Foster!"

Does any of this really matter? I's make-believe. It's fantasy. Why dog each other for your picks? Why careen towards the canyon of fear over your draft positions, your starters for the first Sunday and or how you won't be able to hold your head up around the boys if your picks aren't good?

Are these guys compensating for their own inadequacies? Did they fail at football at some point in their lives and this is their control on a world gone mad? Is it a testosterone thing? I mean, you don't see women having Fantasty America's Next Top Model or anything. Maybe we should? We could pick on each other when their draftee model gets cut. We can belittle our friends' choices. And we can cheer and jeer at their failures. I mean, isn't that what the fantasy football is about?

Do you know that the American workforce wastes like 30% of their time on fantasy sports leagues? Thirty percent!! While I'm sitting here doing spreadsheets and entering leads and planning tradeshows and Xeroxing and collating and doing all the shit work that I do, the men in my office spend thirty percent of their time on their fantasy football as if it's one of the products they should be selling.

My answer? Just shut up and watch the damn games on Sunday.


Don't you love it when I come back full force? I'll try to be a better blogger. Thanks to those of you who are still with me.

Hang loose,
Double Vee

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Madge and Me...

Vanessa here...

Madonna was in town over the weekend and she was seen by me!

Let me just say that I remember "growing up" to Madonna songs. Who hasn't grubbed out to I'm Crazy for You or Vogued or danced in from of the mirror to Like a Virgin. We've all done it. (William does it all the time...loves that Immaculate Collection.)

I've been working some late nights and doing some real shit/grunt work and my boss gave me Madonna tickets. Not just any Madonna tickets. These seats were about twenty feet from the side of the stage. A stage that takes up the whole of the arenas (see pic) it's in. (I heard it takes 24 semis to bring this stuff into a town.) We're talking $350 tickets! So, of course, I took William with me -- what with Madonna being a gay man's idol.

Old Madge may be on the uphill side of 50 (she's 48 to be exact), but that beatch can move like nobody's business. Man! I wish I had her body. Muscle and toned and so tiny. She looks great. And her voice is phenomenal. She didn't lip synch one word the whole show.

So, the show starts out with this gigamonic disco ball descending at the edge of the stage while the music is just heart-pounding throughout the place.

Everyone's on their feet going wild and next thing you know, the disco ball flips open and out pops Madge in her equestrian garb, complete with horsey ponytail on her top hat and a riding crop.

The dancers are all these buff, hot, muscular guys who not only dance like nobody's business, but they are pure physical specimens. They're tethered together like a team of horses and proceed to gallop and trot down the long stage.

This, of course, is followed by a couple of old songs and mostly her dance hits, always grinding to the beat with plenty of dance and action. She's never breathed as she's singing and dancing and getting down on stage. I mean, literally crawling on her hands and knees at many points.

Then, twenty feet in front of us, a stage hand comes on and installs this large pole and what looks to be a carousel horse seat (without the horse body) - if that makes any sense. Madonna comes over and does a slow-grinding performance on the pole to Like a Virgin as the moving stage is suspended about thirty feet into the air. She's very meticulous, slow and careful in her movements, always making sure her high-heeled booted foot is in place or she's griping the pole in the right location. Absolutely breathtaking. And she's smiling and singing and just reaching out, flirting and touching the audience the whole time. (William was fanning himself, let me tell you.)

Oh...that was a bad thing. Apparently Madge prefers that her venues be "warm." Since she's into yoga and exercise done in hot rooms, the A/C wasn't on in the TD Banknorth Garden and it was HOT! We're talking William dabbing himself and me with sweat pouring down my back. Madonna also says the warm air is better for a singer's voice. Man, it was uncomfortable. I had to shower when I got home!

Anyway...enough about my bodily functions and hygiene...back to the show. There were a lot of subtle and not so subtle political statements in the show. She had a little Kabbala friend who sang this song with her as a woman in traditional Muslim garb (well, it was green garb) danced inside a cage until Madge freed her. Then, after a costume change, Madonna is seen strapped to a mirrored cross, rising up from the stage in what appears to be a crucifixion.

Now, I had not been looking forward to this because I thought it was going to be sacrilegious (and it sort of was), but it really had a message to it. She sang I have a tale to tell...what's the name of that? Oh, is it Live to Tell. She did have on a crown of thorns, which I thought was bad, but as she sang, there were these images of homeless people and sick AIDS babies and starving children and it was quoting Matthew where Jesus said "I was naked and you clothed me, hungry and you fed me...if you'd done it to the least of my brethren, you've done it to me..." and at the end it had the URLs for all these charities and the Clinton Foundation. So, I appreciated the message.

She had several costume changes and these dancers, again, were ALL over the place. There was this monkey bar set thing and this one guy jumped from the top of it to this platform like twenty feet away. It was...breathtaking.

There was a disco tribute and a mixing of some classic songs with her current hits. She wore a white disco suit, a la Saturday Night Fever that was pretty much a onesy, because she ripped it off to show this leotard underneath.

The finale was Time Goes By and it was this spectacular with her in a white body suit with shimmery blue slashes over her naughty bits and she had a white cape that said "Dancing Queen" on the back and was covered in sparklies and lights on the inside. Gold balloons fell from the ceiling and everyone went nuts! And that was it. No encore and I'm told by the time William and I filed out and got to the T, Madonna was at Logan airport boarding her private plane back to NYC.


Quite an experience. Glad we rocked!!! Old Madge still has it!

Have any of you seen her ever? Wanna share your experience?

Hang loose,
Double Vee

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Which to choose...

Vanessa here...

You can see how interesting my life is, eh? I have so many wonderful things to report. Well, let's's gray, and raining, and foggy, and wet. Yeah...summer in Boston!

Instead of dwelling on the weather, maybe I'll get you to help me pick out my next boyfriend. Which one would you go for?


Post your choices for me!

Hang loose,
Double Vee

Sunday, July 02, 2006

You expect me to blog on a holiday weekend?

Vanessa here...

Off to muchas barbeques to drink too much and eat even more.

Here...this will keep you busy while I'm gone:

The Starbuck's Oracle.

Hang loose,
Double Vee

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Holy crap, it's a post from me!!!

Vanessa here...

Busier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. (Ha! Got that one from Griz. Feel free to use it.)

Nothing to report here, but I thought I would provide you with hours upon hours of entertainment: just click here.

Let me know what you think!

Hang loose,
Double Vee

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Take the Great White North!

Vanessa here...

Well, Griz and I are off on our fabulous weekend spree up to Toronto, Ontario, Canada! Can't wait. We've gotta go now before W seals off all the borders and no one is allowed to come or go. (Remind you of the old Soviet Union, or what, people?!)

So, I'll leave you with this one thought for those of you who might be traveling to Boston or who already live here and want to learn this tidbit:
When you ask for a "non-smoking" cab in Boston, it means the cabbie will crush out his smoke underneath his shoe before you get in the cab.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend everyone!

Hang loose,
Double Vee

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