Monday, March 21, 2005

Battlestations! It's a clothing sale!

Vanessa here...

Well, I have to tell you...I survived the weekend and my shopping excursion to the Talbots end-of-season clear out charity sale in Medfield, Massachusetts. See...all the clothes from the previous season that don't sell, go to this Legion Hall in Medfield (small town outside the Route 128 corridor.) The tags are ripped out (hence, the sizes are too) because all of the money goes to charity...or something like that. Not quite sure why the tags had to be ripped out, but they are nonetheless...it makes for very interesting shopping in a free-for-all environment.

So, Griz and Mia and I get there on Friday morning (we all played hookey from work) at 8:00 a.m. The parking lot was FULL to the gills. Women everywhere...some even coming out already with their purhases. The sign on the door was refreshing: "No babies or strollers inside!" Loves it. We go in, are handed laundry baskets (in which to shop in) and set off into the land of shirts, pants, skirts and suits. I found the most darling leather skirt and put it in my basket, but when I laid my basket down later to look at a shirt on another rack, I found that someone had snatched the skirt from my basket. Thief!!!!

Let me tell you, God help the man -- or woman -- who stands between middle aged women and $5 - $10 clothing items! I've never seen anything like this. A feeding frenzy of fiesty women of all shapes, sizes and ages. They didn't seem to care what size the clothes were or if there was a possibility of it fitting them. They piled item upon item upon item into the clothing basket like someone was going to take them away from them. They wrestled over Wranglers. They fought over fabrics. They positioned around the pajamas. They made camp around the cords. And they protected their finds like mother bears watching over their new cubs. I saw two women about to fist-fight over a pair of JLo Glo jeans.

The dressing room...well, that was a whole other adventure. So, once I'd picked through items and found things that remotely looked like they were my size (What? Like I'm going to tell you my measurements? Not!), I stood in line with all the other basket-filled women to get into the communal dressing rooms. Yep...communal. One big room where everyone gladly dropped their drawers and paraded around in their undies, bras and support hose. Fortunately, I was relegated to the back corner where I had a modicum of privacy as I tried on the shirts, skirts and pants I'd foraged for. There were women commenting on $5 shirts and desperately trying to force their massive bodies into the small fabrics. Must. Fit. 'Cause. It's. Cheap!

Let's not even get into the fact that there are over a hundred women crammed into this one space and in a dressing room packed full of bodies and discount clothes, it's no place for anyone to rip one. But they did...a doozey or two. Talk about stank! I mean, my eyes started watering. It reminded me of Election Day when we were standing in line to drop our ballots and someone lit one...my friend turned to me and said, "I know this election stinks, but this is ridiculous." So ladies...if you find yourelf in a similar shopping situation, drop a Phazyme or two ahead of time before diffusing the whole building.

All in all, I got out of there with several outfits and only spent $75. Mia found tons to wear (she's so thin and tall) and Griz loaded up on sweaters (Southern by birth and can't stand these New England winters.)

I never saw my leather skirt again. I hope the bitch that swiped it is allergic to cow hide. Serves her right.

Hang loose!

Double Vee

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