Thursday, March 17, 2005

Judging books by their covers...

Vanessa here...

So, my friend, Griz, and I went to this networking thing last night at Legal Seafood over around the Park Plaza after we got off work. We get there a little late, but the place is packed. Beautiful, thin women and suited, pre-maturely balding men gawking at them. Total meat market under the guise of a meet market. Now, Griz and I aren't ugly, nor are we traffic stopping gorgeous. We're just average chicks, you know? But this is what happens to us...

We walk in and there's this guy in a really hideous floral design shirt (yes, I'm judging him) holding a stack of nametags printed out. We stand in front of him (as he's mercilessly hitting on this Brick House stacked chick standing there) and wait patiently for him to acknowlege our existence. When he doesn't, the guy standing next to him nudges him and says, "I think they're looking for their nametags or something." He turns, looks us up one side and down the other and then says, "Here, they're out of alphabetically order, why don't you look for yourself." And he goes back to talking to the Brick House chick! Hello! You rude're supposed to be handing these out, yet I'm suppose to forage on my own 'cause you're too busy socializing?

Lame! Lame! Lame!

And it made me feel about this ---> <--- big.

Griz and I mill around a bit and watch the people around us in this circus of life. No one's really "networking" like the event was promoted. Instead, they're flirting, eyeballing and ball scratching. There are the inevitable golf-playing sales men in one corner pounding back Sam Adams and checking out every female in the place. There are the perfectly coifed, styling women who just left their glamorous jobs to pop down here for a smart cocktail and to be picked up by a guy. Then, there are the geeky guys who are here to actually network and make contacts and pitch their freelance services to potential clients. Then, there's Griz and me. Just a couple of average working gals looking to meet people, make contacts and have a good time.

Only, we seem to blend into the rock walls of the Legal Seafood's wine cellar where the party is taking place. We stand at the bar and are virtually ignored by the bartender who's tending to a buxom red-head who is leaning over to yell her drink order near his ear.

Are we invisible?

No...we're nice people with good personalities and each cute in our own way. We're just not bowl them over first impression gals.

A friend of my family once told me "Vanessa, you get more beautiful the more I get to know you." Huh? Well, at first, I took it as a horrible backhanded compliment. So...upon first look, I frighten little children? Oh no, wait...he was saying that the more he got to know me, looks didn't matter? Or that my personality made me beautiful? I mean...what the f*ck? I never knew how to take that...but maybe he's right. The people who are long-lasting in my life appreciate me for my personality, my sassiness, my jokes and my wit. They don't hang around me because of my 34C's or my basic hair cut.

Have we become a total society of first glance impressions? And if so, are we missing out on some pretty terrific people who could be in our life by literally judging a book by its cover?

Don't get me wrong...I groom daily. I bathe on a regular basis. I use perfume and makeup. I'm just not your over-the-top glam gal. I'm What you see is what you get. But are people dismissing me as a person on first meet all because I don't meet some high expectation they might have?

Course, we all do it, don't we? That weirdly dressed student on the train with his pants around his butt cheeks. We judge him. That business man with the circa 1989 suit with the paisley tie. We have an opinion on him. The woman in the office down the hall who wears glasses when you know contacts would bring out her eyes more. We feel sorry for her.

We're such a judgmental society...what with all the reality TV shows (I know...there I go again!) where people are scored, ranked and judged on their talent, looks and size. Of course we're going to do it with our fellow man. Should we? No...but it seems to be a fact of life that we just have to accept.

So, I ordered myself a Pinot Grigio and enjoyed it with my friend, Griz...who is as cute as a button and any guy would be lucky to have her as a girlfriend...and any woman would be privileged to have her as a friend.

The lesson here...get to know people before you dismiss them.

I'll try to do the same.

Double Vee


Blogger Diana Peterfreund said...

Good point, chica. I know I judge all the teenagers dressed in jeans that might as well be thigh highs... oops, there I go again!

10:41 PM  
Anonymous Griz said...


You forgot to mention the most important thing....there was NO FOOD! Thank god we stopped and had a nibble cake at that booksigning. Too bad they were slivers...we should have had seconds. How can you have a networking event at a restaurant, and not serve food? It's just rude. Actually everything about this event was rude.

3:37 PM  

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