Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Taking the bullshit by the horns...

Vanessa here...

What is it with men who can't get the hint?

Now, I'm no Uma Thurman in "The Truth About Cats and Dogs" where strange men do wheelies on bikes in the middle of the street to get my attention. In fact, I seem to attract the oddest men to me...and Saturday night was no exception.

My friend Griz and I went out to see a movie and then were stopping by this hotel in the burbs where a friend of hers from college (Julie) was attending conference. We're sitting there in the hotel bar with her having a nice Chardonnay and discussing life's issues (and trying to ignore the Pope Watch on the TV bar) when all of a sudden, this guy comes up and asks if he can ask us a few questions. (Okay...novel approach.) He wasn't cute, nor was he ugly...he just was, although he was wearing baggy jeans, a sweatshirt and had about three earrings in his left ear.

He basically asks..."What do women want?"

Was he serious?

He started quoting the movie As Good As It Gets (a stellar film, IMO) and the scene where Melvin Udall is at his publishers and the receptionist intercepts him to ask how he can write women so well. Melvin's response: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

Now, is this the way to score with three women?

Thing is, Griz's friend Julie is a Ph.D. in English and has no hesitation facing anyone down when she knows she's right. So, we have this debate with this guy about women vs. men and he's all trying to pull The Sensitive Male act on us, saying he's only asking us these questions so he can properly understand women more.

Then he's all like, "yeah, but don't women really want the man to take care of them and protect them so they don't have to." He was met with a resounding chorus of "no." I mean, sure, if you're in a dire situation and need rescusing and are unable to rescue yourself, then sure...it's great if there's someone who cares for you who'll step up to the plate and come to your aid. But is it necessary and needed? No...not always. We're women of a new century. We have jobs...apartments...responsibilities. We're not the wilting little flowers who need the big, strong man for protection. That's like so...1950's of him! For this guy to make that assumption about all women, well it was just wrong.

Then, he had the nerve to say that it was easy to pick up women in hotel bars because they were usually needy and wanting and looking for some action while they were away from home. This was when we thanked The Sensitive Man for his time and vamoosed. What. A Jerk. We walked Julie up to her room and then Griz and I got a cab home. TSM was still hanging around in the hotel lobby when we left...best to make tracks from that. He should have to wear a sign around him that reads "Beware of Predator with Bad Pick Up Lines."

On the cab ride to my apartment, I couldn't help by wonder why that was the kind of man who would talk to me and why hadn't I heard from Ethan Greene...the cutie pie from the train who helped me when I was in my stuck backpack situation. Perhaps the run-in with The Sensitive Guy was a lesson I needed in aggressiveness. So what that Ethan hadn't called me? I'll just call him. Maybe sometime this week. I'll take the lead. I'll show that I don't need a man to be the aggressor. Women are empowered these days...so I'll go after what I want. Hmmm...maybe I did learn something from The Sensitive Man?

Note to any men reading this blog: having an act really doesn't work. Just be honest and be yourself.

Maybe I'll get up my nerve and call Ethan after the weekly sales and marketing meeting. Be bold, Vanessa! I can do it!

I'll keep you posted.

Double Vee


Anonymous Griz said...

That guy was pathetic. I totally tuned him out, kept talking to Julie's friend about books instead, so I missed most of his nonsense. Did he really say it's easy to pick up women in hotel bars? No wonder his buddies had that cheesy look on their faces when he walked over to us. Idiot kept following me around the table too, what was up with that? Thank god Julie's friend called me back over two seconds after idiot sat next to me. Ha! Loser.....

10:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

definitely call ethan!

7:12 AM  

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