Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I demand TV-ending satisfaction!

Vanessa here...

Well, May sweeps are over and it seems that all of my television shows are done for a while. Is it me or have the writers of television lost the knack for really great, kick ass cliffhangers? You've watched all season, you've tuned in every week, you've been expecting this great ending and then you get a mere (often predictable) phhhfffftttttzzzz...like you've opened a week-old bottle of club soda. I expect more, dammit! Let's take a look at my shows...

  • Joey: Okay, I know we're just talking a sitcom here that was a spin-off of Friends (which had some good cliffhangeers), but could it have BEEN more predictable that Joey and Alex were going to end up lip-locked and in bed with each other? I saw it coming from the first show when she said she was his landlord and her husband "traveled a lot." Something like that is as predictable as any time a woman pukes or has "the flu" on TV, she's obviously pregnant. Now, I'm all for Joey and Alex hooking up, but it was so...predictable...so...not something that took me off-guard. Something I expected.
  • Desperate Housewives: Did they really sum anything up? Okay, sure, the whole who is Mary Alice and why did she kill herself thing was finally revealed, but it was shoved at the viewers in a "okay, we have to tell this to you, so just watch" way that it didn't ebb and flow into the rest of the story. And please, who out there actually believes Rex is dead? He read his chart, he saw what was happened and he's very quietly slipped out of Bree's life so he can go live potassium-free. Am I the only one who sees how obvious this is??? Just because the actor confirms he's dead...come ON!!! And Zach with the gun on Mike and Susan...how many times is Mike going to get shot on this show? You know what would have been EVEN BETTER and a kick-ass cliffhanger? When Mike walked into the house and closed the door...we heard a gun shot. Now, that would have rocked!
  • Will & Grace: So Will's been hired by creepy Alec Baldwin to work this new law job and you know it's not legitimate. Then, we've got Grace (who was cheated on by her husband) who's attracted to a married friend. And how does it end? Well, Grace is macking on the married dude -- hello, hypocrite -- and Will figures out he's working for...(now come on everyone...mouth the words with me)...Stanley Walker. That's right. Stan, who died and was cremated, is not dead. Yaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
  • Grey's Anatomy: Really loving this show...loving it, loving it, loving it. But can this whole Dr. Yang pregnancy thing be any more predictable? She's a completely unlikeable character and hello...you're a doctor, don't you know how to use a condom?!?! You know she won't actually have an abortion. No one's done that on prime time television since Maude in the 70's! George...I just love George and his character's woes, but it was slightly predictable that Alex passed on the syph to him through the nurse-chick. And, sorry...but having Dr. McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) get phone calls he didn't answer -- prior to not sharing his life -- made it tres predictable that he was married. I was just waiting for the wife to show up and plant a flag on him. Come on...couldn't we have done something more original???
  • America's Next Top Model: I know it's a reality show, but if you don't think things are plotted out, scripted and controled by the producers, you're nuts. This was the most lackluster group of girls yet. They were all stupid as barn doors! Who can't pronounce the word "magenta?!" The photoshoots were contrived and stupid and not exactly what top runway models go through in the course of their days. Naima, yes, was beautiful and took great pictures, but can you tell me one thing about her other than she has a Mohawk, is a combination of Irish-Black-Mexican and she "used to be a party girl." She pulled the viewer votes in each week and THAT'S why Tyra and Crew named her the Top Model. It was so anti-climatic, it wasn't even funny. Tyra's GOT to do a whole heaping better next season. At least get some girls who have the skills of rudimentary reading.

So, you see my disappointment. I guess I want those great old cliffhangers that kept you wondering all summer "what's going to happen?" I mean, who can forget the shower scene in Dallas where Pamela Ewing dreamed the whole season, in essence? Classic! And the massacre in Moravia on Dynasty. Brilliant! I want things like that in my shows. I don't want to be sitting there speaking the dialogue as they're saying it.

What are your favorite cliffhangers of all time??? Speak up and be heard!

Double Vee

4 Comments:

Blogger Elizabeth Kerri Mahon said...

I loved the Moldavian massacre on Dynasty and when Valene's twins were kidnapped on Knots Landing. The OC season finale was way cool with Marissa shooting Ryan's brother who had attempted to rape her, and so was Charmed. Apparently the witches are pretending to be dead to have normal lives. I don't watch Joey or Will and Grace (they conflict with the OC) so I'm not up on their season finales.

9:45 AM  
Anonymous julie k. said...

the cheers ending where diane leaves sam at the alter...or was it she left frasier? or didn't she leave sam a bunch of times at the alter...or he threw her off is boat? no, I know, when sam proposed on the phone and you didn't know who he was proposing to. it was a great show

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget "Who Shot JR?"

10:48 AM  
Blogger Kathy Holmes said...

Well, it wasn't really a series cliffhanger but it was an ongoing cliffhanger on the show and now I'm going to date myself but I was a very young child. Anyway, "The Fugitive" was my mother's favorite. We were always wondering if Dr. Kimble was ever going to find the one-armed man. And then there was that final 2-hour wrap-up that was pretty exciting. But maybe this isn't what you asked.

10:50 AM  

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