Thursday, June 16, 2005

Boston drivers yield to Minivan Moms!

I have the proof, people!! car (a Volkswagen Cabrio left over from my sorority girl days at American University) had to go into the shop for a couple of days (fluid repairs, transmission ick stuff and other technical things that totaled $900!) and the dealership had to give me a rental car. It's always fun to get a rental car...a break from your regular driving, the chance to test out something new, sleek, maybe even sexy.

But no...

Enterprise gives me a frickin' soccer mom minivan! (Are you freakin' kidding me?)

A Kia Sedona to be exact. This is what it looked like:

Two days worth of driving around town, going to the store, hanging with a minivan!

I'm not exactly adept at driving such a monstrous machine. I mean, there's no front end and a mile of stuff behind you. It needed one of those beepy things so that when I backed up, people would know. It wouldn't turn for shit and a three point turn turned into about an eight point one. The console was big enough to play solitaire and the two backseats could have easily have fit the whole marketing department from DigitalDirection. Me, in a minivan? Thank God it had a CD player, so I could still listen to Ministry of Sound while toodling around town.

But you know what I discovered? Boston drivers aren't rude to minivans. I got away with things driving this Sedona that I'd get flipped off to the high heavens if I were in my little car. People yielded to me. Cars waved me ahead. Folks let me cut in front of them. A man even smiled, nodded and waved to let me turn before him at the light. There were even smiles! And, at the grocery store, a guy waved me into a "Shopper with Child" spot. What the fuck?!

What's wrong with these people? These are the same aggressive drivers who bang lefts, who run red lights and who beep at you if you don't gun it the millisecond a light turns green. Yet, in the Soccer Mom Mobile, I got away with things? Does that mean our society gives more leeway to moms with minivans full of chid'rens? Or do people feel sorry for the moms and want to make distance from them...letting them go ahead? Maybe it's that they know the moms are stressed and freaked out from having to tote Jimmy and Susie around and they're getting out of her way? One of the news stations should do an investigative report!

The minivan is gone (thankfully) and I'm back to my life of pissing off my fellow drivers and trying to survive as I navigate the streets of the city in my six year old car. Should I look into getting a minivan? Would I be eligible? Do you have to bring birth certificates of your children to complete the paper work? Maybe those minivan driving moms know what they're doing. Maybe I could get used to some common courtesy and politeness from my fellow drivers...

Nahhhhhhhh...maybe not. Not yet anyhow...

Hang loose!
Double Vee


Anonymous j said...

soccer moms are HOT!

9:29 AM  
Anonymous stephanie eileen said...

A couple of weeks ago of weeks ago, I got cut off by a minivan full of mom and kids coming out of the Stop and Shop in Allston. She totally cut in front of me, then flipped me off and mouthed "F#ck You!" at me!!!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Vanessa Virtue said...

I'd have to ask, Stephanie, where that woman's family values were then, eh? :)

9:31 AM  
Blogger Vanessa Virtue said...

j, you continue to fascinate me. :)

9:31 AM  
Blogger Michele said...

Um, Hi.
Don't do soccer, but I do Minivan.
Too bad they didn't give you a Honda. Those have power, an awesome turning circle ,great speakers and I love being higher than most. I never realized how much more scenary I've been missing! (example -idling at stop light looking down at a little (or big?*grin*) hottie hunk in a fancy convertible - can you visualize?)o I think the height can make one a little "snobby" -not me though- Oh no
As far as the MiniMom driver that Stephanie mentioned, I'd give her the small(note-small) benefit of a doubt. I've seen a woman walk into a store all sane like and come out crazed like Cujo. Kids'll do that to you if they've gotten all the buttons pushed. If she has one of those" don't take it out on the kids" mentalities, then she would express that repressed tortured passion on any poor person she can, as in Stephanie's case.
ON the other hand - She simply could be just a Bit** and heavan help the kids with those kind of lovely life lessons.

12:06 PM  
Blogger Dorothy said...

LOL, I was a minivan mom back in the day. At first I loved it...until it fell apart. Where in the manual does it say you have to keep oil in it?

1:24 PM  
Blogger Shesawriter said...

Personally? I have the toughest time with vans. I pick my son up everyday from school and it never fails. The SAME WOMAN is always in front of me. Be it three cars, five cars ... doesn't matter. She takes the SAME way home I do and drives five miles an hour every darned day! It drives me bananas! One day I got so frustrated I broke the law and passed her when I wasn't supposed to. I felt very smug at the time until I looked in my rearview mirror and my son was looking at me as if to say, gee mom, you're losing it.

I felt so ashamed. Soooo, I try to get to school either later or earlier so I'm not in back of that van. Thankfully school is out, but with my luck, I'll run into that annoying woman at the supermarket checkout and she'll be IN FRONT OF ME ....AGAIN.


5:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People in big-assed SUVs, minivans and honkin' trucks think they own the road, soccer moms or not. I can't wait until good old cars come back into vogue.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Parenthood is valued over everything in our society, but you know, there are just some people who shouldn't be and don't need to be parents. Minivans included. Just my opinion.

8:29 PM  

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