Friday, June 17, 2005

California dreamin'...on such a winter's day...

Oh's June 17th! It looks and feels like November 17th outside. Cold. Gray. Overcast. Hazy. 45 degrees. This is fucking insanity. I'm tired of bitching about it. I'm tired of complaining about it. I'm tired of living it. I swear, if I had more in my crazy savings account, I'd move to Florida or California. Course, California's had four earthquakes and will probably fall into the sea and Florida's already been whacked with a hurricane this season...what's left? Moving to the middle? No thank you!

Okay...I'll quit carping. I'll just sit here in my veal cubicle looking out the window not being able to see Boston across the river. I'll just keep the heater turned on under my desk so my poor toes won't freeze. (I insist on wearing sandals since it IS summer!)

Think happy thoughts. Warm thoughts. Pretty places. Happy people. I mean, Tom and Katie are engaged! (snort)

We should all be doing roundoffs-back handsprings in the street that two such perfect Scientologists...err, I mean people...found each other in this world. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. I mean, look at them! Do they honestly appear to be in love? She looks scared shitless! And ewww...she had teenage fantasies about him? That's just too dirty old man of him to me. Am I honestly supposed to believe these two are desperately in love and are going to live happily ever after with tons of babies? Give me a break! Talk about orchestrated, manhandled and planned out. I think the funniest thing about all of it is that no one believes they're a real item, yet they're hamming it up for the cameras and playing this role to the fullest. I actually kind of feel sorry for them. I never thought I'd be the type of person to say this, but Tom Cruise is scary-creepy.

Speaking of scary-creepy...Mr. Paulsen, the landlord, knocked on the door this morning to tell us he's got an exterminator coming in this afternoon and he was just letting us know he would be gaining access to our unit. (Sounded kinky to me!) So, I had to go pile all of my floor shit up onto my bed in anticipation of whatever God-awful insect repellent they're going to come spray. Thing my two years living here, I've never seen a bug. (Other than Mr. Paulsen.) However, he had a water bug in his shower last week (I know 'cause I heard him squeal like a little girl!) and so he's fumigating the whole house.

Just glad he's doing this now, 'cause at this moment, Mia is the high bidder on eBay for a portable dishwasher! Yes, that's right. We're rebelling! The hell with Mr. Paulsen and his backwards rules. We're hopefully going to get this portable dishwasher and then we'll just roll it into the closet and hide it when it's not in use. And, we'll only run it when he's not home. There...problem solved! So, keep your fingers crossed that Mia wins the auction. to get more coffee to warm me up and maybe I'll be able to feel my extremities. Be sure to check in tomorrow for Weekend Eye Candy...which seems to be an appreciated feature of my blog!

Hang loose,
Double Vee


Anonymous j said...

it's all a publicity stunt for their new movie. and the joke's on us 'cause they'll both make a fortune off it.

8:50 AM  
Anonymous Rhonda Spacey said...

I think this just goes to prove that all of those rumors running rampant about Mr. Tom are true. I feel sorry for Katie Holmes. She might be scared for life over this.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Vanessa Virtue said...

I agree with you, j.

And Rhonda, you're probably right, too. But while she's scarred (???) for life, she'll have a huge bank roll to keep her company in her misery!

= )

9:11 AM  
Blogger Liz Maverick said...

Re: said earthquakes. In typical native Californian style, I've been, "Oh, there's another one. Huh. Whatever." I even scoffed at the online site tickers with their dire headlines like "BREAKING NEWS: An earthquake strikes California!" Yeah, so what else is new?

But then I was watching the news the other night and this earthquake expert comes on and talks about prediction maps. (Try He's 15 out of 17, which I think is pretty damn good. And he's saying that we SHOULD be worried. That The Big One (as we call it in these here parts) is way overdue.


2:29 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth Kerri Mahon said...

Wow. Tom sure moves fast, and they haven't even made a movie together yet. I say the relationship will last until she becomes as famous as him, and then dumps her.

3:59 PM  

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