Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Pissed off at the fish counter...escape to a happy place...

Vanessa here...

So, after my encounter at the fish counter last night at a local grocery store I won't name, but whose initials are Stoop 'n Shite, I had to go to my "happy place." Here it is...

Yep...that's me in Miami Beach...legs stretched out, gazing out to sea. (Nice toepolish, eh?) That's my happy place. Whenever life troubles me or people piss me off (which is this town is every day) or the traffic gets to me or the trains decide to park in the tunnel for eight minutes...I just go to my happy place.

And I had to last night in line at Stoop 'n Shite. I swear, we live on the Atlantic Frickin' Ocean people, yet I have to go to this grocery store to get my fish and seafood? And it's never as fresh or perky as it should be. It's degrading. This man standing behind the counter...sorry, but he's not the sharpest tack in the box. He's a mouth-breather too...just standing there staring ahead and not like he's in his happy place.

So, here's the convo...

Me: "May have have two pounds of the jumbo shrimp, please?"

(See...I was polite. Even smiled at the end of the request.)

Mouth-Breather: "You can get the frozen in a bag in the freezer section."

Me: "I know, but I don't want them frozen."

Mouth-Breather: "You can put them in water and defrost them."

Me: "But I don't want to do that." (tapping on glass) "I'd like these...right here."

Mouth-Breather: "The freezer ones last longer."

Me: "But these are on sale. And I'm here."

Mouth-Breather: "But it's easier to just get the bag."

(Yeah...easier for whom???)

Me: "I want what I want and that's the ones in the case in front of me."

Mouth-Breather: (biiiiiiiiiiiiig sigh)

Then he starts reluctantly putting the shrimpies in the bag, then starts throwing them in, like one at a time, taking for-freaking-ever to do it and mumbling to himself. I can't tell if he's just that stupid or if he's trying to piss me off. Finally, after several more sighs (you'd think I was asking him to give me his first born) and taking his own sweet time bagging and tagging the shrimp, he hands me the bag over the counter with his mouth hanging open.

Me: "Thank you."

Mouth-Breather: (staring at me with his mouth still open)

Me: (not letting him get away with this) "I said, 'thank you.'"

Mouth-Breather: (just standing there...sighs again)

Me: (now royally pissed) "Forgive me for actually making you do your job!"

Didn't faze him.

So, I stormed out the store (after paying, of course) and he totally runined by shopping experience. It was bad enough I had to dodge all of the unchaperoned children pulling candy off the displays and the little carts the parents now have that are like little race cars their kids can sit in that take up two-thirds of the aisle, but the jackass at the fish counter had to cop an attitude with me? What is it with me and people around seafood these days? Maybe I should go back to beef?

Anyway...I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and I was in my happy place...deep, cleansing breath...there we go...waves lapping, sun shining, seabirds circling....ahhh....there we go....

Here's hoping you have a happy place of your own!

Double Vee


Anonymous Cecile said...

I have that problem too, but I live in Philly. The grocery store fish people have such an attitude when all they have to do is reach in the case and hand you what you ordered. Good for you standing up for what you wanted.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous j said...

Oh, Jesus do I hate those car carts they have at the store for kids. I've been hit by them several times and the mothers look at you like you've done something. I want to beat whoever invented them.

2:39 PM  
Blogger Kathy Holmes said...

Hey girlfriend! Ya gotta move down here to Florida. The fresh fish is awesome. Wasn't much of a fish fan before we moved here but the fish is to die for. Ya like Sushi? Nothing better than a Tampa roll (the secret is in the Grouper).

3:27 PM  
Blogger Vanessa Virtue said...

Ohhh...I've been to Frenchy's in Clearwater and just LOVED the grilled grouper sandwich! I literally have dreams about that sandwich...and the white sandy beach...

Another happy place!

3:28 PM  
Blogger Gena Showalter said...

Ah, man. All this seafood talk is making me drool. My favorite!!

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He probably spit on your shrimp when you weren't looking.

8:54 PM  

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