Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Baby lamb, a drunk uncle and a big surprise...

Vanessa here…

So, where did I leave off on the wedding story? Oh yeah, the blessing by the priest about any “possible children” and all of us choking back our snickering.

Well, the reception was a real hoot! There was all this traditional Portuguese food for the reception – soooooooooo good. We started with this cream of shrimp soup that had this creamy, spicy texture to it. Then, there was this gorgeous salad with all sorts of mixed greens and radicchio and this lemon vinaigrette that was too delish for it’s own good. Then, the main course came out. now, I don’t mean to go all WASP on your ass, but one of the choices was perna de cabrito à moda da beira alta, or translated: leg of baby goat roasted the beira alta way and fresh tuna steak marinated Madeira-style. I don’t know about you, but eating a little baby goat just wasn’t my idea of fun, so I stuck to the dish I knew best.

(I know what you’re thinking about how this was going to be this simple, non-descript wedding, but once Mia’s mother and grandmother got involved, it turned into a whole big Pimental family reunion, complete with relatives from Lisbon and the Azores flying over for the big event. Mia’s the first in a long time to walk down the aisle so it must be like a national holiday in Portugal and New Bedford, Massachusetts.)

Hunter was a doll though, really getting into the festivities, the dancing and yes, eating the baby goat. He said it was delicious, especially with the roasted potatoes (which I did try), but I just had to take his word for it. I kept envisioning that farm I visited when I was 15 where we got to milk goats and cows and I bottle fed a little baby goat as part of the petting zoo-like experience. There are just some cute animals that shouldn’t be eaten. (I don’t have a problem with chickens as they’re ugly as sin.)

The funniest part of the whole evening was that Mia had to run interference with her great uncle, Duarte, from the Azores. He spoke very little English except for “another Johnny Walker Red.” He and Johnny became well acquainted during the course of the evening. So much that Duarte started causing a scene. At one point, he picked up the leftover leg of lamb, started dancing with it and waving it above his head like the caveman in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Larkin was chasing the 90 year old man around the dance floor and damn, if Duarte wasn’t getting the best of him.

At one point, he decided he wanted to do this Portuguese version of old man break dancing. He was trying to spin around on the dance floor on his back, but Mia’s mother and Larkin were trying to rein Duarte in. He was laughing and having a good old time…drunk off his old ass! It was a sight! I could tell that Mia was mortified, thinking old Duarte and Johnny Walker were ruining everyone’s time.

That’s when Hunter stepped in. He helped Duarte to his feet, offered to buy him a drink and escorted him out to the bar where he got him one for the road and then took him up to his room in the hotel. I was amazed at how calming and authoritative Hunter was…and how Duarte, who didn’t understand a word he was saying (more than likely) went along like a good boy and quietly passed out on his hotel bed.
We went back to the reception and Hunter wrapped me in his arms, danced with me, told me how beautiful I was (can you see me blushing) and that he couldn’t wait to get me alone.

Well, hello Dolly! What were we doing here? Sure, sure, my roommate and very good friend still had to cut her cake, toss her garter and bouquet, but I wanted to get out of here. I wanted some alone time with Hunter. Could this be the night? Could this be what I’d been waiting for?

When Mia tossed the bouquet, her 12 year old niece literally knocked me out of the way (this chica was big!) and grabbed the flowers. Not that I necessarily needed to catch them. I’m not thinking marriage. I mean, Hunter and I’ve been barely going out. But I am thinking about honeymoon activities.

We tossed rice and wished the couple well and Mia and Larkin left for their trip (going to Brazil for the honeymoon, although the doctor herself realizes she probably shouldn’t be flying this late into her pregnancy.)

Hunter and I drove home, got in the door of my apartment and literally attacked each other. Man, this guy can kiss. I mean, heart stopping, toe curling, palm sweating, knee knocking deep, wonderful kisses that touch my soul.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted him, like badly. I’m a desperate woman here! I reached for the button of his pants and that’s when he put his hand over mine and…stopped me.

He kind of sat up and said, “Vanessa, we need to talk…”

Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

And oh shit. I’ve got to go for now…but I promise to finish the story. Sorry to keep you hanging…tune in…it gets really good!

Hang loose,
Double Vee


Anonymous emily said...

He's not a 30-yr-old virgin is he???

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awwww, come ON!!!!

3:07 PM  
Anonymous Mel said...

I'm sensing life may be imitating fiction here....

3:36 PM  
Blogger Vanessa Virtue said...

Oh let me have my fun telling the story! = )

Don't worry...I'll finish soon.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous j said...

i had lamb once. never been so sick in my whole life.

5:18 PM  
Anonymous OriginalMissThing said...

Tart! On with the story please!

5:23 PM  
Anonymous beejay said...

You are a vicious, evil woman. >;-}

7:44 PM  

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