Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Crazy women who give us a bad name: Part III...

Vanessa here...

I worked my ass off (turning around...see, it's gone!) on this major presentation today for my boss to present to the board tomorrow. I. Am. A. Goddess. Of. PowerPoint! I made all these cool graphs and charts and slides on our sale pipeline, the marketing leads we generate, the PR we've gotten and the advertising campaigns we've got layed out for the fall. I totally got praise from my boss, Aislin, and she said she's going to recommend me for the "Chef of the Year" award at work. (The person who contributes the most winning ingredients to the company's overall recipe....gag me!) But what the hey!

However, as I'm diligently working in my veal cube all day (not taking a lunch break...bad Vanessa!) or even getting to dally in e-mail too much with Hunter (who was remarkably flirty in e-mail...what gives?), I can't help but eavesdrop over the cube wall on All-Chicken-All-Day Mara's conversations non-stop over the phone with her brother. (She ate raviolis with thick meat sauce for lunch today and then went out for cookie dough ice cream. Yep, that's how to lose weight.) Anyway, this story beats all...beats all, people! This is yet another case study for the record books:

Case Study #8: The Girl Who Wants it All

So, this happened to A-C-A-D Mara's brother...we'll call him Rhubarb. Five months ago, Rhubarb met Scallion at a party and they hit it off immediately. Scallion told Rhubarb that her boyfriend, Endive, was serving in Iraq, but they'd agreed to see other people while he was away because it's nothing serious. Feeling he had permission, Rhubarb moved forward with a relationship with Scallion. She lives on the south shore of Jersey and he lives here in Boston. For five months, every weekend, he drove to Jersey to see her. She told him she loved him and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Rhubarb told Mara he'd found "the one" and everything was wonderful.

Fast forward to this three weekends ago. Rhubarb and Scallion weren't seeing each other because she had a "family" commitment. However, she called him all the time and text messaged him, telling him how much she loved and missed him. Then, the next week, he noticed there was something odd in her voice when they talked on the phone. So, he called her and asked her what was wrong. After a lot of querying on Rhubarb's part, Scallion broke down and admitted that she'd cheated on him. Not just that, but she'd cheated on him with Endive, whom she'd claimed to have broken up with. Endive was on a furlough from Iraq and is in Jersey for the week. She's with him all the time, practically living with him, sleeping with him and -- ewwww -- text messaging Rhubarb while Endive is showering after sex, telling him how much she misses him! (Scallion's a little fucked in the head, wouldn't you say?)

After her confession, she wants Rhubarb to come down and see her so they can talk it out. She's confused. She doesn't know what to do. She has to think it over. Rhubarb feels like the ultimate shit sleeping with the girlfriend of a guy who's off risking his life in Iraq, yet he's in love with her. Rhubarb gets down there, Scallion tells him she's made up her mind and she chooses...Endive.

Rhubarb comes home, gets drunk and tells all his friends that it's over. Then, today, Rhubarb gets a call at work from Scallion. She says Endive re-upped and is going back to Iraq in a week. Even though they're still together, he understands her "needs" and tells her it's okay if she sees other people while he's away. She has the audacity to ask Rhubarb if he wants to be her "fling" while the man she really loves is off fighting for his country!

Is she completely and totally insane?

The worst part is...Rhubarb's actually thinking about it...so he's as insane as her!

I can't even get my gorgeous, FBI agent boyfriend to kiss me and this jackass woman (of 23) has two men after her? What am I doing wrong?

I'm telling you...this gives women a bad, bad name...

Have you ever? And then Mara asks me my advice! What the hell do I say? What would you say?

Must go calm down with a glass of Shiraz...

Hang loose,
Double Vee


Blogger Michele said...

I'm NOT touching this one with a ten foot pole!
That is just two weird.
Personally, if they do get back together, its because they are 2 peas in a pod...as long as all the cards are on the table....then they are using each other for how ever long they feel the need or want.
Whatever floats thier boat.
Gee, maybe I should have said 20ft pole???

7:36 AM  
Anonymous j said...

rhubarb should tell her to take a flying leap. she's toxic. he can do better

8:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The fact that she's CHEATING on her boyfriend who's at war is disgusting and it makes her the enemy of any woman in America. The fact that he's CONSIDERING being her boy toy is sad and pathetic. The fact that people so stupidly toss around relationships and sex and responsibility around is the reason so many people are pushing for stricter marriage laws and such. You should have to pass a compentency test before you say "I do," especially when you're this fucked up like these people are.

8:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your stupid

8:19 AM  
Blogger Vanessa Virtue said...

Your stupid what?

; )


8:21 AM  
Anonymous Peach, VV's friend said...

Yuck! This girl doesn't know what she wants, and she's hurting other people. I'd tell Rhubarb to stay away. If Endive ever finds out, well, Rhubarb might get a taste of combat training, if you know what I mean.

Scallion, you bitch, you don't deserve the love of a good military man!

Speaking of which, Eggplant (who married Radish by the way, and Watercress didn't even throw a fit about it) is throwing an engagement party for a mutual friend this weekend. As if Eggplant should ever get credit for being a model fiancee!

1:57 PM  
Anonymous Stephanie K. said...

It all sounds like a recipe for ghoulash to me!

5:45 PM  

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