Monday, November 28, 2005

The shitteth hath hitteth the fan...eth...

Vanessa here...

Name that movie quote!!

Okay, well as you're thinking of that, let me tell you what happened at work today! Man, oh man, oh man! Sexual escapades...secret sex...getting caught... And no, no, wasn't me. Sadly, VV is still looking for her next bout of trysting, but these were office folk and man have they upset the apple cart.

Reagan Vanbiesbrouck is our top sales person. It really chaps the asses of all the macho sales guys that our top seller is a chick. Reagan is something else. She runs the Boston Marathon every year, she's cute and thin and doesn't wear a stitch of makeup. You'd probably want to hate her if she weren't so nice. Well, we had this new sales guy who'd only been at the company about four months -- Donovan Hughes -- and they've been eyeing each other like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It was inevitable that these two gorgeous people were, at some point, going to be going at it.

But who knew they'd do it at work!

I shit you not.

We're sitting there this afternoon, doing our work, being the good worker bees that we're paid to be when all of a sudden, the network connection literally sputtered out and...died. Everyone in the company let out this collective groan (which makes you wonder how many of them were playing, checking stock quotes or e-mailing their friends.) So, our tech guys head into the supply room which leads to this small (freezing) closet) where the servers are housed. I hear ('cause I didn't see) that Kelvin, the IT tech, goes to the server room and the door is locked. Well, sure, it's usually locked.

So, he gets his master key, opens the door and what to his wandering eyes should appear but...two naked people going at it against the server cabinet, literally knocking it off line.

Reagan and Donovan were doing the white man's overbite, slammed against the computer equipment and in essence, pounding the internet off line.

They were horrified. Kelvin was horrified (if not a little entertained as he's had a crush on Donovan since he started work here) and went screaming from the room like a woman scalded. The HR Director quickly pulled both Reagan and Donovan into her office (all tattered and bunched up clothes) and you could hear the screaming. Oh. My. God.

Both were dismissed for the rest of the day...well, Donovan was fired on the spot because he said it was his idea and he instigated the...errr...extracurricular activity. Because of Reagan's sales figures, she was given a warning and sent home. in the office! Caught having sex in the office! How embarrassing is that? Could you imagine? I mean, I was embarrassed for them!

The executive committee of the company is meeting tomorrow to review the Employee Handbook and add some provisions to it regarding fraternization amongst employees. See, I told you...the shit hit the fan. Oh, and to top it all off, there was a training session for some pretty important clients going on and their computers were knocked off the system, too. It just was not good all around.

But it wasn't me. I'm a good girl at work. I behave and don't get into trouble like that. It'll be interesting to see how this fleshes (no pun intended) out from here. I'm sure it's to be scandalous!

I'll keep you posted.

Hang loose,
Double Vee

(And if you don't know the movie's from 10 Things I Hate About You.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

How come nothing exciting like that ever happens at my work!

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Ruthie said...

If she doesn't want to keep him, send me his address. I mean, a guy so hot that you'd even consider doing the nasty at work, risking everything??? Then, when you get caught, he steps forward and takes the blame???

Man, he's a keeper.

4:00 AM  
Anonymous cheryl said...

Ooo! 10 Things I Hate About You! I got the reference before you told us. ;)

10:13 AM  

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