Monday, December 19, 2005

Homo for the holidays and my crush dilemma...

Vanessa here...

Sorry I've been absent of late. I've been so busy at work and going to holiday parties (I'm very popular) and shopping and trying to get ready for my visit to the parentals in Virginia. But mostly, I'm dealing with William, who has turned our apartment into the visualization of what it must look like when Santa Claus barf. Red and white and green everywhere. William's decorating talent has made Martha Stewart look like Scrooge himself. There's buttons and bows and tinsel and mistletoe and wreathes and a gigenormous tree and presents everywhere and lights and candles. William has gone over the top...but then that's how he does everything and I loves him for it., I have to tell you about the holiday party at work last week. I'm having a little problem that perhaps you can help me with. I don't know if this is a female thing and I'm just wigging or if this is something all you other gals do.

So, at the party, we have this presentation by the company president -- you know, rah, rah-ing and year end numbers and such. Nice stuff. We're doing okay. We're a tech company surviving past 2000, what do we want, you know? Then, we all check out the carving stations and the mashed potatoes and meatballs and passed appetizers. Tons of food. Griz and I have our fill and, of course, take advantage of the three-hour open bar. (The Cabernet Sauvignon they served was tres yummy.) Well, we ended up in this knot of people standing around the crudite and suddenly, I'm talking hockey with two sales guys and this new guy from research. We'll call him Jolly 'cause he's soooooooo tall. I mean like my head comes to the middle of his chest. (Griz guesses that he's at least 6'6".)

We're all talking and having fun and laughing and really enjoying ourselves and then next thing I know, Jolly is getting wine for me. Now, I've maybe spoken to him about 8 times since he started working at The Compass, but we're hardly buddy-buddy. Well, you know how you talk to someone for a while and they get cuter and cuter? Yep...that happened with Jolly. He was so attentive and complimentary of me that I was totally smitten. Then, he asks me to dance. Of course, I say no 'cause I don't want to man an ass of myself. But he takes my wine glass from me and leads me to the small dance floor and we groove to a Michael Jackson (don't boo...) beat. And, as we're dancing, he holds my hand. Yeah...holds it.

I got these delicious little chills all over and I couldn't help but smile up into his nice, warm brown eyes. He's really a little doll. Well, not that he's little...the guy is what my grandmother would call "a tall drink of water."

Okay...flash to last Friday and today when Jolly's back at his desk and research and what do I do? I find every reason under the sun why I have to go back there and ask someone questions. Noooo...I can't just e-mail or anything, I have to draw attention to myself.

Do you guys do this? Do you try to become the center of attention so you can get some guy to notice you more? I laugh too loud, I walk by his cube every few minutes, I find reasons to e-mail all of Research just to put my name in front of him. It's not that I'm stalking him or anything, but it's like every time I turn around, go to the bathroom or go into the kitchen, there's Jolly. I can't tell if he's annoyed by me and my presence or if he's noticing me and finding me irresistible.

I've always done this, though. Every time I notice a guy I like or who's cute or, God forbid, has paid any attention to me, I go overboard. I talk too loudly. I laugh a lot. I stalk. I can't keep my mouth shut. Is this a female thing or a Vanessa thing?

What should I do? Lay low? Hang back? Be quiet? Or just keep being myself?

I need help! You've always been there for me before...don't let me down now.

Hang loose,
Double Vee


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's definately a female thing. When we know someone's watching - its adrenalin. Its a wild high. Probally one of the best kind of highs. Women live for it.

I say go for it - flirt, laugh, and enjoy. It's about time you got some real action and forget about your 'pretend' dating.

If you think you might be annoying him then hang back for a day and see if he comes and seeks you out. If he does, let the games begin.

Have fun. Keep us updated.

7:50 AM  
Anonymous j said...

is that what women are doing when they're all loud and in your face and seem to be there at every corner? man, i have a lot of learning to do still at my age. i agree with the anonymous poster who says have fun, but maybe hang back and see if he seeks you out. just have fun. you deserve it.

8:19 AM  
Anonymous cheryl said...

Wow! When I read this, I thought "poor Vanessa" and then it hit me that I do this too! I'm too loud, I'm always around and I make myself the center of attention. I guess it's like we want to show ourselves as outgoing and personable and popular or something like that. I'll be more careful in the future.

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, did you notice this guy before or was it only after he paid special attention to you that you had a crush on him?

8:31 AM  
Blogger Vanessa Virtue said...

Thanks for the advice, everyone! Wow...came into work and look at all the postings. Nice to know I'm not alone in my stalker...errr...flirting behavior. He's actually taking vacation for the rest of the week (drat!) so I'll be out of his face. Then, I'll be at my parents' for Christmas and he can miss me. Maybe he'll seek me out in the new year.

Yeah "j," this is what women do. We're strange creatures. All of us. Haven't you read all of the fruit and vegetable stories?

Anon #2 - yes, I noticed him before and thought he was cute, but he was just a co-worker and someone I saw randomly in the hall. It wasn't until he hugged me at the party and danced with me and held my hand that I really took notice and wondered if this guy might like me. So, in a sense, my radar is up.

Course, remember, can't do anything about it -- company rule now after the banging in the server room -- no inter-company dating.


8:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's a female thing AND a male thing. When you're attracted to somebody, it's only natural to want to be with him or her as much as possible, whether they're aware of you staking out the water cooler or not.

Back in my singleton days, I scared a guy off with my flirtacious overzealousness. (A rugby player at my university, someone you'd think would be immune to fear, the weenie.) But then again, I landed my DH by sitting on his lap at a party and stealing his beer. Oh, and kissing him nonstop. Moral? Just be yourself.

BTW, does the inter-office dating rule make your crush all the more enticing in a forbidden fruit sort of way?

-Wendy T

12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't get these companies who feel they can control what one does outside of work time. As long as you're not 'banging in the server room' then I think its not of their business.

6:29 PM  
Anonymous asdfawfaasdvojavsk said...

I don't think it's necessarily a good thing to go after this guy if there's a work edict that you can't date co-workers. Why would you want to go against that all for some action on the side? But then you have to ask yourself if you're willing to look for a new job if things get hot and heavy with Jolly Green Giant.


7:24 PM  

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