Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Der Kommisar's in town...

Vanessa here...

And no, I'm not talking about the Falco song from the 80's. I'm talking about Big Brother. Someone's watching. End of the fun. The hammer has come down.

So, first day back at work after the holidays and it seems that while the employees were away, the HR rats were at play. On our desks today were brand new Employee Manuals complete with new rules for "associates." (I hate that they call us associates...like we choose to work there and associate with the company and it's software products.) Anyway, I'm not sure if a lot of this is kosher or within civil rights and stuff, but it doesn't matter 'cause we're all employees at will and if we want to work at The Compass and get our nice paychecks on a monthly basis, we have to play by the new rules.

Some new rules include...
  • No access or participating in message boards, online groups, chat or instant message software.
  • Employees overheard complaining about the company to other employess will receive a "warning." On the third warning, you will be dismissed.
  • Habitual tardiness, long lunch breaks or frequent cigarette breaks will be docked from vacation time/pay.
  • No fraternization amongst company employees including dating, over socialization or inappropriate interaction during company hours.

Well, we can thank all of this to the Bang Heard 'Round the World in the server room. They're really putting the hammer to all of us. I mean, come on. There goes my Christmas Crush on Jolly.

Oh, Jolly? Well, I found out today that over the break, he proposed to his girlfriend. So, even though HR disallowed me from even fantasizing about a co-worker, he made it clear-cut with his impending matrimony.

I guess I just go to work, do my job and boringly ignore all the cute, friendly people. Come on! People have always socialized and flirted in the work place. These managers are out of control. But I'll continue being the good worker bee. I have too many bills, credit card debt and loans to do otherwise. I'll be good.

But honestly...have you ever heard of anything like this before? I'm astounded.

Hang loose,
Double Vee

5 Comments:

Blogger Stephanie said...

Hey, Marley, those rules sound like a bummer!

So I just thought I'd drop by and say hello, because I am still so stunned that I turned around and saw you in Izy's Steak House the other day in San Francisco! Do you know (of course you don't, how could you) I grew up a few blocks away from there? I've never been in that restaurant even though I've walked by it a million times, so I'd have to say we really beat the odds on that one. Hope you had a great meal... did you try Izy's house potatoes? Yum.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Whoops, that is Izzy's, Izy's...

10:51 AM  
Anonymous j said...

i've heard of companies really cracking down on anything personal in the work force. at my company, we can't access personal e-mail at all. nada. although i can post on blogs. go figger.

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's bullshit. They can't do that!

3:48 PM  
Anonymous cheryl said...

Actually, it's their company and if you're an employee at will they can pretty much make you do anything they say in order to get a pay check. Sucks, doesn't it?

4:03 PM  

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