Thursday, February 02, 2006

Messy Man Reappeareth...

Vanessa here...

I saw him again!

Messy Man was on the train again this morning. If you don't remember who he was, here's a reminder. Messy Man was at his finest this morning. Boston Globe askew in his lap, taking up two seats and crowding out this tiny little old Asian woman who was too polite to say anything to him. He had his coffee balanced between his knees (an accident waiting to happen) and in one of his pudgy fists, he held the world's largest blueberry muffin.

It wasn't so much that the muffin was gigamonic, it was the fact that he ate so voraciously, as if someone was going to take it away from him. He wolfed at it, spilling crumbs everywhere (particularly in his lap) and was covered in yellow doughy balls. (One even kerpluncked into his coffee.) When the train came to a quick stop, he nearly crushed the poor little Asian woman (again...too polite to say anything.)

Before he gets to his stop, he literally crambs the rest of the muffin into his mouth, puffing his cheeks out like he's Punxsutawney Phil or something.

As he's got the muffin chawing in his cheeks, he takes a fantastically huge swig of the coffee, draining the cup. The train stops and Messy Man hurridly gathers his things. Then...the bastard tosses his coffee cup under the seat, leaves the paper behind and proceeds to wipe off the crumbs (that are flying everying) and leaves most of them on the poor little Asian woman!

I swear, I heard someone hiss at him. finish things off, he burped like a newborn baby after three bottles of formula.


(And he has a wedding ring on, so there's a Mrs. Messy Man somewhere. How do you live with a man like this? Follow him around with a Dustbuster?! Honestly!!!) on the Red Line.

Well...that's all for now. I'll blog about Project Runway later...

Hang loose,
Double Vee


Anonymous j said...

gross - that guy's a piece of work. no wonder the cost of riding the t is out of control with slobs like him they have to clean up after.

7:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You need to get a picture of him. And when he asks why - refer him to your site.

How proud this man's Mother must be.

12:58 PM  

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